Famous Quotes & Sayings

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Alberto Manguel

Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word.

Aldous Huxley

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Doug E. Fresh

I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason.

Dylan Moran

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

Doug Stanhope

Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar.

Doug Stanhope

As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces.

Doug Stanhope

What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.

Doug Stanhope

I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

Kevin Bardsley

We didn't want them to have to recreate the wheel, ... In our eyes, Garrett saved Brennan's life because of the things that we've learned.

Charles Fillmore

The mind is the seat of perception of the things we see, hear, and feel. It is through the mind that we see the beauties of the earth and sky, or music, of art, in fact, of everything. That silent shuttle of thought working in and out through cell and nerve weaves into one harmonious whole the myriad moods of mind, and we call it life.

Charles Fillmore

Here is a mental treatment guaranteed to cure every ill that flesh is heir to: sit for half an hour every night and mentally forgive everyone against whom you have any ill will or antipathy.

Charles Bukowski

To do a dull thing with style-now that's what I call art.

Charles Bukowski

Boring damned people. All over the earth. Propagating more boring damned people. What a horror show. The earth swarmed with them.

Charles Bukowski

If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose.

Charles Bukowski

Life's as kind as you let it be.

Charles Bukowski

We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.

Charles Bukowski

Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live.

Mark Twain

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

Mark Twain

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Mary Roberts Rinehart

Useless as a pulled tooth.

Nick Moran

My brothers are both 6 ft. 5 in., and if you have younger brothers who are bigger than you then you have to learn the ancient martial art of sarcasm.

Mark Twain

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Natasha Leggero

My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'

Mitchell Hurwitz

Character is what someone does, much more than who they are. I can be sarcastic or I can be fearful, but it doesn't really matter until there's a story - until someone comes in and holds us hostage.

Margot Asquith

She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.

Margot Asquith

He could never see a belt without hitting below it.