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funny sweet ice
Sweet cream on an ice cream sandwich! Dwayne Johnson
funny wwe rocks
You wanna do this...you wanna go right now...do you want to, GO?...then go get The Rock a bologna sandwich because this doesn't concern you.
funny family heart
The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. Dodie Smith
funny enough cranky
I'm old enough and cranky enough now that if someone tried to tell me what to do, I'd tell them where to put it. Dolly Parton
funny fitness book
I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.
funny inspiring girly
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
funny military army
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship. Dick Gregory
funny science female
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female. Desmond Morris
funny zoos concrete-jungle
The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.
friendship honesty believe
Don't believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves. Albert Camus
friendship phones cells
My cell phone is my best friend. It's my lifeline to the outside world. Carrie Underwood
friendship divorce shoes
A Roman divorced from his wife, being highly blamed by his friends, who demanded, "Was she not chaste? Was she not fair? Was she not fruitful?" holding out his shoe, asked them whether it was not new and well made. "Yet," added he, "none of you can tell where it pinches me.'' Plutarch
inspirational life simple
Genius might be the ability to say a profound thing in a simple way. Charles Bukowski
inspirational motivational ignorance
It is time in the West to defend not so much human rights as human obligations. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
inspirational heart cutting
The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?
inspirational sweet night
Do not pursue what is illusory - property and position: all that is gained at the expense of your nerves decade after decade and can be confiscated in one fell night. Live with a steady superiority over life - don't be afraid of misfortune, and do not yearn after happiness; it is after all, all the same: the bitter doesn't last forever, and the sweet never fills the cup to overflowing.
inspirational envy gossip
Our envy of others devours us most of all.
inspirational opportunity artist
For a true artist, difficulties become opportunities and clouds become solid present. Alejandro Jodorowsky
inspirational motivational eye
Most directors make films with their eyes; I make films with my testicles.
inspirational philosophical glasses
One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, "Is it half full or half empty?" So I drank the water. No more problem.
inspirational life thinking
The essence of independence has been to think and act according to standards from within, not without. Aleister Crowley