Related Quotes
funny
That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt. Jarome Iginla
funny truth communication
When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken. Benjamin Disraeli
funny thinking ideas
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. Demetri Martin
funny issues kites
I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues" Demetri Martin
funny happiness success
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. Damon Runyon
funny literature pessimist
A pessimist? That's a person who has been intimately acquainted with an optimist. Elbert Hubbard
funny baseball stupid
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing. Dizzy Dean
funny golf mainly played space
Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course...the space between your ears. Bobby Jones
funny
I'm not a person who can spontaneously say funny things. Ashley Williams
witty humorous voting
Vote early and vote often. Al Capone
witty cutting winning
HENRY: Now it is necessary to court her, and win her, and put on this clean dressing gown, and cut my various nails, and drink something that will kill the millions of germs in my mouth, and say something flattering, and be witty and bonny, and hale and kinky, all just to ease this wrinkle in the groin. It seems a high price. Donald Barthelme
witty time watches
The days of the digital watch are numbered. Tom Stoppard
witty truth honesty
It is better to be quotable than to be honest. Tom Stoppard
witty mad people
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone. Tina Fey
witty shopping able
Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward. Marilyn vos Savant
witty intelligent kind
I don't even know if it's possible, but if it were, I'd like to make those kinds of old movies where the women were articulate and intelligent and flawed and witty. Lisa Kudrow
witty thinking want
If you want to be witty, say what you think at all times Oscar Wilde
witty lying hands
The biggest defeat in every department of life is to forget, especially the things that have done you in, and to die without realizing how far people can go in the way of crumminess. When the grave lies open before us, let’s not try to be witty, but on the other hand, let’s not forget, but make it our business to record the worst of the human viciousness we’ve seen without changing one word. When that’s done, we can curl up our toes and sink into the pit. That’s work enough for a lifetime. Louis-Ferdinand Celine
humorous bad-ass men
Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth. Chuck Norris
humorous majority vote
One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted. Thomas Reed
humorous shut-up pears
No. Now, shut up and eat your pears. Suzanne Collins
humorous gay night
If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity. George Mikes
humorous personality sides
I'm not a robot; I have a personality and I have emotions. I have a humorous side to me and an angry side to me. Jeff Gordon
humorous coffee tea
Coffee isn't my cup of tea. Samuel Goldwyn
humorous states steady
The steady state of disks is full. Ken Thompson
humorous ophelia thee
But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go! Mark Twain
humorous heart compassion
The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion. Mark Twain