Famous Quotes & Sayings

Maisie Williams

Sometimes people think they know you and they go, 'Hey!' and then they realize that they've just seen you on the television. That's kind of funny sometimes.

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Barbara Kingsolver

He had senile dementia and liked to go outside naked, but he could still do two things perfectly: win at checkers and write out prescriptions.

Augusten Burroughs

The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with him, but truthfully I would rather listen to retarded children pounding on pan lids with wooden spoons.

Aziz Ansari

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.

Ayn Rand

There is a level of cowardice lower than that of the conformist: the fashionable non-conformist.

Benjamin Disraeli

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

Kenneth Branagh

It's funny to be in rooms where you were originally referred to as 'The Shakespeare Guy' and to suddenly be in the position where you're 'The Blockbuster Guy.' That's a pretty unusual turnabout, I must say.

Benjamin Disraeli

Everyone likes flattery; and when you come to Royalty you should lay it on with a trowel.

Daniel Woodrell

Texas humor and Southern humor are pretty similar.

Arthur Conan Doyle

Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.

Arthur Conan Doyle

I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.

Art Buchwald

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

Elaine Stritch

The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know?

Kara Walker

Humor's always been the problem of my work, hasn't it? When working, I feel satisfied when I surprise myself. And when I surprise myself, I wind up laughing.

Arthur Conan Doyle

We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.

Bob Costas

Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have something that's offbeat, quirky, humorous, and where called for it, should have journalism, and judiciously it should also have commentary. That's my ideal.

Dennis Ritchie

The notion of a record is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column card.

Archie Panjabi

The predictable thing about 'The Good Wife' is how unpredictable 'The Good Wife' is.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Politics is not really different from marriage. You cannot get things done in your relationship if you tell your wife: Look, if you haven't made the bed and if you don't get the food on the table, I will go and just hire someone and you will become irrelevant. That is not how you make a marriage work.

Al Yankovic

My wife went off with Elvis.

Charles Barkley

My wife's married. I'm not.

Anton Chekhov

If only one tooth aches, rejoice that not all of them ache.... If your wife betrays you, be glad that she betrayed only you and not the nation.

Craig Finn

My wife is very happy about me keeping all my music in my pocket.

Craig Kilborn

Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.

Barbara Bush

Show me a wife who doesn't offer advice and I'll show you one who doesn't care very much.

Ben Horowitz

Billionaires prefer Black women. They are loyal and guard your interests. Black wives are for grown ups.