Related Quotes
funny humor thinking
I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.' Adam Ferrara
funny humor thinking
If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
funny stupid humor
You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
funny dad humor
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid. Adam Carolla
funny humor tuning
If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
funny kings sex
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
funny humor home
You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
funny growing-up humor
When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
funny humor two
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
truth hideous
The truth--a hideous spectacle! Conrad Aiken
truth honesty lying
Honesty consists of the unwillingness to lie to others; maturity, which is equally hard to attain, consists of the unwillingness to lie to oneself. Sydney J. Harris
truth mistake believe
Ignorance is preferable to error, and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing than he who believes what is wrong. Thomas Jefferson
truth talking clue
The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up! Tom Waits
truth kissing wish
A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true. Steve Martin
truth blow wind
Let us seek truth everywhere; let us cull it wherever we can find its blossom or its SEED. Having Found the seed, let us scatter it to the winds of heaven. Where ever it may blow, it will germinate. There is no lack in this wide universe of souls that will form the new ground. Romain Rolland
truth stories disease
When the remedy you have offered only increases the disease, then leave him who will not be cured, and tell your story to someone who seeks the truth. Rumi
truth two half
Quantum Mechanics and General Relativity are both accepted as scientific fact even though they're mutually exclusive. Albert Einstein spent the second half of his life searching for a unifying truth that would reconcile the two. Roy H. Williams
truth lying may
A thing may happen and be a total lie; another thing may not happen and be truer than the truth. Tim O'Brien