Famous Quotes & Sayings

Anthony Jeselnik

When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Ann Brashares

There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't.

Ann Brashares

When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes

Andy Borowitz

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

Andy Borowitz

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.

Andy Borowitz

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

Andy Borowitz

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

Andy Borowitz

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

Andy Borowitz

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

Baruch Spinoza

Men would never be superstitious, if they could govern all their circumstances by set rules, or if they were always favoured by fortune: but being frequently driven into straits where rules are useless, and being often kept fluctuating pitiably between hope and fear by the uncertainty of fortune's greedily coveted favours, they are consequently for the most part, very prone to credulity.

Augustus Hare

The greatest truths are the simplest, and so are the greatest men.

Ayn Rand

And man will go on. Man, not men.

Calvin Coolidge

That man has offered me unsolicited advice for six years, most of it bad.

Richard G. Scott

The seminary programs will help you as a young man or woman to lay a foundation for happiness and success in life.

Sydney Smith

A man who wishes to make his way in life could do no better than go through the world with a boiling tea-kettle in his hand.

Siddha Nagarjuna

A highly learned man has two sources of happiness: either he abandons all earthly interests, or else he possesses much which could be abandoned.

Louis Adolphe Thiers

Man has a primary property right to his person and his labor.

Adrian Edmondson

I remember once having to stop performing when I thought an elderly man a few rows back from the front was actually going to die because he was laughing so hard.