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funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. Anthony Jeselnik
funny humor two
There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't. Ann Brashares
funny hilarious humor
When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes
funny travel thinking
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there. Andy Borowitz
funny technology hours
Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.
funny technology men
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.
funny travel worry
Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
funny technology giving
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
time vacation
Before, I just used vacation time when we did tours. Mike Davis
time
We were dominated. At no time were we in this game.
time hands schedules
A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time. Annie Dillard
time lying silence
Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better, Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time. Thomas Carlyle
time register
Wherever anything lives, there is, open somewhere, a register in which time is being inscribed. Henri Bergson
time
Really? I think for a long time they probably didn't have a quarterback because they were a wishbone team.
time
Reflection is not something you have a lot of time for. Robert Battle
time
If you think back to your time as a teenager, everything was dramatic. Sarah MacLean
time
In New York, I wear dark denim most of the time. Renzo Rosso
inspirational life simple
Genius might be the ability to say a profound thing in a simple way. Charles Bukowski
inspirational teamwork player
I am very happy to be signing for the best team in the world and especially proud to be the first Portuguese player to join United. Cristiano Ronaldo
inspirational fool winner
I'd be a fool to surrender, when I know I can be a contender. And if everyone's a contender, then everyone could be a winner. Coolio
inspirational confused confusion
I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. Daniel Boone
inspirational life god
love is the every only god e. e. cummings
inspirational life good-luck
Everything in life is luck. Donald Trump
inspirational bridges mein-kampf
Words build bridges into unexplored regions. Adolf Hitler
inspirational thinking decision
Think Thousand times before taking a decision But - After taking decison never turn back even if you get Thousand difficulties!!
inspirational eye ears
Music isn`t for the eyes, it`s for the ears Adele