Famous Quotes & Sayings

Tom Shales

ABC's intelligently hilarious sitcom 'Modern Family' depicts a gay-male marriage in which both partners are refreshingly dimensional, believable human beings. The writers dare to make them flawed and thus fully delineated, but they're not flawed in the silly, stereotypical ways that once dominated such portrayals.

Allan Sherman

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.

Anthony Jeselnik

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

Anthony Jeselnik

Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.

Anthony Jeselnik

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Anthony Jeselnik

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

Anthony Jeselnik

My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.

Anthony Jeselnik

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Jack Wilson

I guess you just keep on going out there every day.

Warren Zevon

So I guess I had, I think they tell me I had, about three years total of piano lessons, off and on.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself:""Mankind."" Basically, it's made up of two separate words - ""mank"" and ""ind.""What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

Mitch Kosht

I still haven't totally decided, but I think maybe I'll go to (the University of Colorado).

Mark Peterson

We got down and maybe pressed a little bit. It kind of snowballed from there.

Dick Vermeil

We'll wait until tomorrow. Maybe he'll end up being just like Tony Richardson.

Martin Henderson

When you're doing a one-man play, you maybe rehearse for a month, and then you're just doing it an hour or two a night.

Brian Aldridge

We had more opportunities. Maybe it could have been like 63-55.

Justin Kirk

I think my favorite movie is 'Joe Versus the Volcano' - or maybe 'Multiple Maniacs' by John Waters.

George Smith

I tell our players a lot about some of those guys. I don't know if they realize the tradition. Maybe if they see it in the paper, it will mean a lot more to them.

Alexandra Cassavetes

I tell myself, 'If I can wake up each day and be excited about what I'm doing, then I must be happy.' But then again, maybe I'm in denial.

Andy Johnson

Some people think that because it's a threatened species, that every one we save is good. But not if they never get to live in the wild.

Andrew Niccol

Some people think 'Lord of War' is a political film,

Daniel Petrocelli

Some people think it's a waste of time to go to trial here.

Liam Hemsworth

Southern people remind me a lot of Australia.

Jim Anderson

So we're trying to let people know that we will automatically enroll them in Part D and there is no premium at all,

Susan Murray

So we're telling people they should know what they're paying.

Mark Rylance

So there's a lot of people tied into believing that the traditional response to the authorship question. In terms of actors, some people get very angry about it.

E. O. Wilson

so that the will of the people can be upheld.

J. J. Johnson

Once you go out and start making plays, they don't say that anymore, ... You just have to play and show people what you can do.

Tubby Smith

When a team shoots 72 percent, you're not really playing much defensively.