Related Quotes
funny humor thinking
I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.' Adam Ferrara
funny humor thinking
If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
funny stupid humor
You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
funny dad humor
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid. Adam Carolla
funny humor tuning
If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
funny kings sex
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
funny humor home
You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
funny growing-up humor
When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
funny humor two
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
christmas light rooms
Christmas is God lighting a candle; and you don't light a candle in a room that's already full of sunlight. You light a candle in a room that's so murky that the candle, when lit, reveals just how bad things really are. N. T. Wright
christmas expect growth last
Growth has been tremendous. We expect to do about 20 times what we did last Christmas this Christmas. Toby Lenk
christian spring blood
I thought I could have leaped from earth to heaven at one spring when I first saw my sins drowned in the Redeemer's blood. Charles Spurgeon
christian prayer religion
Prayer is the core of the day. Take prayer out, and the day would collapse ... Amy Carmichael
christian jobs doctors
Jewish people, we don't need the money. We're doctors and lawyers. It's the Christians who can't hold a steady job and have to go on TV and ask for money. Andy Kindler
christian prayer heart
I am sure that there are many Christians who will confess that their experience has been very much like my own-that we had long known the Lord without realizing that meekness and lowliness of heart should be the distinguishing feature of the disciple, as they were of the Master. Such humility is not a thing that will come on its own. It must be made the object of special desire, prayer, faith and practice. Andy Murray
christian prayer hearing
Faith in a prayer-hearing God will make a prayer-loving Christian.
christian jesus prayer
Many Christians backslide...They are unable to stand against the temptations of the world, or of their old nature. They strive to do their best to fight against sin, and to serve God, but they have no strength. They have never really grasped the secret: The Lord Jesus will every day from heaven continue His work in me. But on one condition-the soul must give Him time each day to impart His love and his grace. Time alone with the Lord Jesus each day is the indispensable condition of growth and power.
christian prayer past
The enemy uses all his power to lead the Christian, and above all the minister, to neglect prayer. He knows that however admirable the sermon may be, however attractive the service, however faithful the pastoral visitation, none of these things can damage him or his kingdom if prayer is neglected.
christian prayer men
The man who mobilizes the Christian church to pray will make the greatest contribution to world evangelization in history.
christian spiritual jesus
There is need of a great revival of spiritual life, of truly fervent devotion to our Lord Jesus, of entire consecration to His service. It is only in a church in which this spirit of revival has at least begun, that there is any hope of radical change in the relation of the majority of our Christian people to mission work.