Famous Quotes & Sayings

Ryan Dunn

Bam:Let's see if we can rock and knock this thing over. Ryan:Yeah, thats how I wanted to spend my afternoon... dead.

Kym Whitley

I've always wanted to work with children, to help people, and to be funny.

Neil Innes

So we used to look for funny songs, and learn them and play them. And we used to play them in pubs.

Ali Farahnakian

Teaching someone to be funny is like teaching someone to be fast. They're already fast. You're just making them faster.

Chris Austin

Sometimes students find it funny when it happens to someone else.

Maisie Williams

Sometimes people think they know you and they go, 'Hey!' and then they realize that they've just seen you on the television. That's kind of funny sometimes.

Jenny Lewis

Sometimes people come to my shows and think I'm a Christian artist, and they put their hands up in the air, like they do. But first of all, I'm a Jewish girl from the Valley, and I'm from Los Angeles. It's funny to be misinterpreted.

Allison Jones

Pretty people don't keep comedies on the air. Funny people keep comedies on the air.

Chris Parnell

'Saturday Night Live' is a very particular beast. What it celebrates are individuals who can stand out. I did good work there, but going onstage and saying, 'Hey! Hey! Look at me! Aren't I funny?' - that just wasn't my instinct.

Irving Layton

Progress of a marriage: ''There was a time when you couldn't make me happy. Now the time has come when you can make me unhappy.''

Christian Camargo

Any part I do is a marriage of the words - what the playwright or producer or show runner's vision is - to how I would play it. It took me a while to get rid of 'Oh, they want it this way, so I'm going to do it how they want it.'

Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson

Once you are married, there is nothing for you, not even suicide, but to be good.

Antisthenes

Quarrels often arise in marriages when the bridal gifts are excessive.

Barbara Mertz

Marriage, in my view, should be a balanced stalemate between equal adversaries.

Jane Hamilton

In the end maybe what marriage offered was the determination of one's burial site.

Anthony Trollope

That girls should not marry for money we are all agreed. A lady who can sell herself for a title or an estate, for an income or aset of family diamonds, treats herself as a farmer treats his sheep and oxen--makes hardly more of herself, of her own inner self, in which are comprised a mind and soul, than the poor wretch of her own sex who earns her bread in the lowest state of degradation.

Connie Sellecca

I went through a long period of time in that marriage when I didn't believe anything was my fault. I had to face what my part was, and only because of that difficult work was I able to trust a man again.

Susan B. Anthony

Marriage, to women as to men, must be a luxury, not a necessity; an incident of life, not all of it. And the only possible way to accomplish this great change is to accord to women equal power in the making, shaping and controlling of the circumstances of life.

Amy Poehler

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh.

Amy Poehler

Take your risks now; as you become older, you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn't even on.

Amy Poehler

Anybody who doesn't make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life, the better.

Dan Chaon

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Rita Rudner

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Simon Cowell

I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language.

Michael Scott

I never avoid something that challenges my guts and my heart. While I might occasionally puke my guts out, I have never puked my heart out.

Martha Stewart

I want to focus on my salad.

Spencer Kayden

I am truly obsessed with Lena Dunham. I find everything about her unique and refreshing. She is a brilliant, hilarious and honest writer who is not afraid to make her audience uncomfortable.