Famous Quotes & Sayings

Adam Ferrara

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

Adam Ferrara

If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'

Adam Ferrara

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

Adam Ferrara

As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'

Adam Carolla

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

Adam Carolla

If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

Adam Carolla

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

Adam Carolla

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

Adam Carolla

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

Alfred North Whitehead

If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

Alfred Kahn

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

He will hold thee, when his passion shall have spent its novel force, Something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse.

Aldo Leopold

My dog does not care where heat comes from, but he cares that it comes, and soon. Indeed he considers my ability to make it come as something magical, for when I rise in the coal black pre-dawn and kneel by the hearth to make a fire, he pushes himself blandly between me and the kindling splits I have laid in the ashes, and I must touch a match to them by poking it between his legs. Such faith , I suppose, is the kind that moves mountains.

Aldous Huxley

Somewhere in the rain, there will always be an abandoned dog that prevents you from being happy.

Aldous Huxley

In a few years, no doubt, marriage licences will be sold like dog licences, good for 12 months.

Aldous Huxley

You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religion. . . . Dogs do not ritually urinate in the hope of persuading heaven to do the same and send down rain. Asses do not bray a liturgy to cloudless skies. Nor do cats attempt, by abstinence from cat's meat, to wheedle the feline spirits into benevolence. Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, quite intelligent enough.

Aldous Huxley

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.

Albert Einstein

Experts are just trained dogs.

Baruch Spinoza

Men would never be superstitious, if they could govern all their circumstances by set rules, or if they were always favoured by fortune: but being frequently driven into straits where rules are useless, and being often kept fluctuating pitiably between hope and fear by the uncertainty of fortune's greedily coveted favours, they are consequently for the most part, very prone to credulity.

Augustus Hare

The greatest truths are the simplest, and so are the greatest men.

Ayn Rand

And man will go on. Man, not men.

Calvin Coolidge

That man has offered me unsolicited advice for six years, most of it bad.

Richard G. Scott

The seminary programs will help you as a young man or woman to lay a foundation for happiness and success in life.

Sydney Smith

A man who wishes to make his way in life could do no better than go through the world with a boiling tea-kettle in his hand.

Pete Johnson

We've got 10 men working on the Discovery, but we could use six more.

John le Carre

Writers are two-home men - they want a place outside and a place within.

Henry David Thoreau

A town is saved, not more by the righteous men in it than by the woods and swamps that surround it