Famous Quotes & Sayings

Allan Sherman

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.

Anthony Jeselnik

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

Anthony Jeselnik

Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.

Anthony Jeselnik

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Anthony Jeselnik

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

Anthony Jeselnik

My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.

Anthony Jeselnik

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Bobby Cox

This ranks right up there. This goes back 14 years.

Sonam Kapoor

No relationship works without making an effort. That goes without saying. But you should never overcompensate.

Craig Biggio

The guy goes into the stands. How'd he pull it out? If I was a fan, I would've mauled him.

Mike Serba

A huge momentum shift. Raphael's been huge. When we're not playing as well as we want to, he's a guy who goes out and works (hard) and you get the momentum shifted back our way.

Buck Showalter

It's been a long trip, it obviously hasn't been fruitful. Everyone goes through periods, this is a tough period for us. Everyone knows what success is and we're not having it right now.

Joe Gibbs

It's been pretty traumatic, ... I thought we were kind of set there in a lot of ways. It just goes to show in the NFL you're never sure.

David Ross

It's got to be frustrating. Any pitcher that goes out there and that happens to you, it's got to be frustrating when he's been pitching so well.

Ellen Bridgewater

It's good to start playing well now before playoffs start. Every team goes to the playoffs, no matter what your record is, so we just need to be playing good soccer when they start.

Kevin Howard

It's pretty rare to find that and in this league, that goes a long way.

Jerome Forneris

You're truly a star after you've been able to do whatever it is that you do for at least three years,

Boethius

Love binds people too, in matrimony's sacred bonds where chaste lovers are met, and friends cement their trust and friendship. How happy is mankind, if the love that orders the stars above rules, too, in your hearts.

Alex Borstein

Every comic is really a frustrated rock star.

Ali MacGraw

There's so much craziness that comes along with being a movie star that you can get so confused. Unless you've spent your whole life waiting to be the centre of attention, it's pretty terrifying.

Alex Trebek

My job is to provide the atmosphere and assistance to the contestants to get them to perform at their very best. And if I'm successful doing that, I will be perceived as a nice guy, and the audience will think of me as being a bit of a star.

E. O. Wilson

No one knows the diversity in the world, not even to the nearest order of magnitude. ... We don't know for sure how many species there are, where they can be found or how fast they're disappearing. It's like having astronomy without knowing where the stars are.

E. O. Wilson

Humanity today is like a waking dreamer, caught between the fantasies of sleep and the chaos of the real world. The mind seeks but cannot find the precise place and hour. We have created a Star Wars civilization, with Stone Age emotions, medieval institutions, and godlike technology. We thrash about. We are terribly confused by the mere fact of our existence, and a danger to ourselves and to the rest of life.

E. O. Wilson

Without the instruments and accumulated knowledge of the natural sciences... humans are trapped in a cognitive prison. They are like intelligent fish born in a deep shallowed pool. Wondering and restless, longing to reach out, they think about the world outside. They invent ingenious speculations and myths about the origin of the confining waters, of the sun and the sky and the stars above , and the meaning of their own existence. But they are wrong, always wrong because the world is too remote from ordinary experience to be merely imagined.

E. M. Forster

Failure or success seems to have been allotted to men by their stars. But they retain the power of wriggling, of fighting with their star or against it, and in the whole universe the only really interesting movement is the wriggle.