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funny growing-up humor
When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13. Adam Carolla
funny humor two
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
funny humor two
I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
funny humor thinking
Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
funny humor driving
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
funny humor guy
He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
funny humor giving
Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
funny nice humor
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
funny two next
I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
friendship honesty believe
Don't believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves. Albert Camus
friendship phones cells
My cell phone is my best friend. It's my lifeline to the outside world. Carrie Underwood
friendship divorce shoes
A Roman divorced from his wife, being highly blamed by his friends, who demanded, "Was she not chaste? Was she not fair? Was she not fruitful?" holding out his shoe, asked them whether it was not new and well made. "Yet," added he, "none of you can tell where it pinches me.'' Plutarch
friendship adversity flames
The firmest of friendships have been formed in mutual adversity, as iron is most strongly united by the fiercest flame. Charles Caleb Colton
friendship happy-life enemy
Be friends with everybody. When you have friends you will know there is somebody who will stand by you. You know the old saying, that if you have a single enemy you will find him everywhere. It doesn't pay to make enemies. Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to every one about you, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will live. Charles M. Schwab
friendship cute-love happiness
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon. A. A. Milne
friendship offers tolkien
Tolkien offers sympathy, surrender, friendship and, most of all, forgiveness. J. R. R. Tolkien
friendship memorial-day wall
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; Or close the wall with our English dead. William Shakespeare
friendship long pals
If you'll be my body guard, I can be your long lost pal. Paul Simon