Famous Quotes & Sayings

Anthony Jeselnik

When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Ann Brashares

There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't.

Ann Brashares

When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes

Andy Borowitz

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

Andy Borowitz

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.

Andy Borowitz

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

Andy Borowitz

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

Andy Borowitz

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

Andy Borowitz

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

Valerie Azlynn

I like a man with some extra padding.

Francis Jeffrey

There is nothing respecting which a man may be so long unconscious as of the extent and strength of his prejudices.

Gerald Gray

To the man who got shot, I apologize.

Clara Schumann

Every man has his faults; I have and so have you - you will allow me to say so!

H. L. Hunt

This Adonis in loveliness was a corpulent man of fifty.

Norman Ford

The question ""Who ought to be boss?"" is like as ""Who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?"" Obviously, the man who can sing tenor.

Dorothy Stratten

In a way, I'm like Will Rogers, never having met a man I really disliked. I'm not a vamp. I just like men.

Robin Williams

I was only a leading man for a minute; now I'm a character actor.

Bill Owen

Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime!