Famous Quotes & Sayings

Aziz Ansari

Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.

Brad Williams

I don't know why you'd go to a comedian and say, "You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets."

Aubrey Plaza

Louis C. K. is one of my all time favorite standup comedians.

Doug Stanhope

The Internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club owners deciding if they are funny or not.

Tom Green

I considered myself a professional comedian because the club would pay me $20.

Taylor Momsen

I love comedy. If I could be a comedian - well, I probably would not take that job because it seems really hard, but I wish I could be.

Marcus Brigstocke

I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.

Jim Carrey

Magicians are definitely more arrogant. They're kind of like "Abra Kadabra, you're an idiot," they don't let you in on the joke. Comedians, you're always in on the joke unless it's Andy Kaufman.

Hannibal Buress

When somebody mangles one of my jokes, that bothers me more than somebody saying that I'm the worst comedian ever.

Ayn Rand

That's a cute sentence: the years to come. Why are you so sure they're coming?

Atticus Shaffer

My mom thought I might be good for voiceover. She thought I had a cute voice, so maybe I could do a cartoon or something. And while we were looking into that, we also thought I should get into theater acting, so I tried it and the first audition I went on, I booked it. And it kind of just snowballed from there.

Kip Pulliam

We'd get up six or seven, and they would come right back and cut it to three. They hit three-pointers. They hit free throws. They're just tough to stop.

Ari Fleischer

When President George W. Bush cut taxes, he cut them for everyone.

Tom Griffin

When you reach out for help and it's just not there, it's like signing a death sentence. The more they cut beds, they are killing people on the streets.

Aristotle Onassis

In business we cut each others' throats, but now and then we sit around the same table and behave-for the sake of the ladies.

Dave Obey

I opposed Clinton's budget deal in 1997 because he brought in $115 billion cut in Medicare that created greater pressure for providers not to participate.

Scott Simmons

Don't try to be cute. Maintain your focus--you're hunting for a job, not reliving your past.

Stuart Cohen

E-mail is the primary source of viruses. So cutting off e-mail before midnight seems prudent.

Yasser Elguindi

OPEC wants to be perceived as part of the solution, not part of the problem,