Famous Quotes & Sayings

Mark Doren

Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Bikram Choudhury

Do you know, every yoga school in India is free?

V. S. Naipaul

At school I had only admirers; I had no friends.

C. S. Lewis

What do they teach them at these schools?

Cathy Rigby

In high school I never went to the prom because I was too consumed with gymnastics. Also, with my hair in pigtails and looking about 10, I wasn't exactly date material.

Carrie Preston

Everyone thinks they went to high school with me. I take it as a compliment that I look different in every role.

Carrie Brownstein

Wholeness is sort of a dubious concept. Because in terms of the human body and literal wholeness and structures, you think: "here are the structures that help make me whole." Family, or school, or the city I live in. When those structures are dysfunctional or decaying, you end up kind of Frankensteining pieces from everywhere in order to make yourself sated and comfortable and alive.

Carrie Underwood

I did most of my volunteer work when I was in college because I knew of more ways to get involved. In high school, we'd do things like, there was a homeless shelter near our hometown and our church group decorated one of the rooms. In college, I was in a sorority, and we did a lot of things, like pick up trash on the highway.

Carrie Underwood

I'm about the only person in my family that's made it to 24 without being married. That's the way it works where I'm from. Most people, if you find someone to marry in high school, you do that, and if you don't find that, then you find someone in college.

Bill Burr

I'm an idiot, basically. I don't think that I'm a dumb guy, but I also realise that I have access to about 0.1 percent of the information that I need to have a truly informed opinion about half the stuff I talk about. I'm like that loud guy in the bar, who kind of makes sense for about ten minutes, and then you realise he flunked everything at high school so you just laugh at him.

Thomas Chandler Haliburton

A college education shows a man how little other people know.

Elizabeth Warren

Going to college and finding a good job no longer guarantee economic safety.

Carrie Underwood

I took ethics classes in college, and it always amazes me how they [tabloids] will blatantly say something that I did not say, in quotation marks. The first thing that we learned in ethics is that you better have it right. If you're putting quotation marks around something, it better be exactly what that person said.

Berkeley Breathed

Doonesbury had the requisite and overwhelming influence in 1980, as it did on any college cartoonist who was paying attention, of course.

Ashton Kutcher

I wanted to be a genetic engineer. That was my goal in college. I wanted to figure out what the codon sequence was that causes replication in a cardio myopathic virus. That was my goal.

Roger Graham

The Athenaeum was one of the most wonderful things this college had.

Jacqueline King

That woman is just as concerned about paying for college, but she has an economic imperative more pressing than the male student, ... That's really important.

Pete Carroll

That was so much fun. That was so exciting. It was very dramatic. For an energy junkie like myself, it can't get any better. It was a wonderful day for college football. Something I'll never forget.

Greg Hetherington

That will be a first for me as well, first road trip as a college head coach. It will be a good test for us early on. I want to see how things play out.