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funny humor thinking
I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.' Adam Ferrara
funny humor thinking
If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
funny stupid humor
You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
funny dad humor
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid. Adam Carolla
funny humor tuning
If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
funny kings sex
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
funny humor home
You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
funny growing-up humor
When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
funny humor two
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
crazy kids having-kids
It's always astounded me to have succeeded at having kids. It's crazy! Carla Bruni
crazy guy littles
If you`re a Republican politician and you`re seeing this guy [Donald Trump] saying crazy stuff and going up in the polls, what are you going to say, you`re going to say equally crazy or maybe a little less crazy stuff. Bernie Sanders
crazy mean scary
The music industry seems scary to me. I mean the film industry is crazy enough so the music industry to me seems like the wild, wild West. Like I would just never dare. Anna Kendrick
crazy successful thinking
Similarly, I think I'm lucky that I've never had a crisis about whether the only reason I'm successful is because I'm crazy hot. It's not something that crosses my mind.
crazy humility humble
I'm so humble it's crazy. I'm like the Kanye West of humility.
crazy people age
I'm a pretty big dork. It's crazy. I'm one of those people who grew up with all kinds of musicals, but I was right at that age where 'Rent' was a big deal for me and for my friends.
crazy people needs
People are going to come into your life that need you, and being there for them makes the day worth living. People are going to come into your life that you need, and that's the really crazy thing. Amy Grant
crazy worry insane
Don’t worry if they say you’re crazy. They said that about me and yet I was saner than all of them. I knew. No matter. You know. Insane or sane, you know. It’s a good thing to know - no matter what they call it. Anne Sexton
crazy nice writing
I'm an empress. I wear an apron. My typewriter writes. It didn't break the way it warned. Even crazy, I'm as nice as a chocolate bar.