Famous Quotes & Sayings

Adam Carolla

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

Adam Carolla

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

Adam Carolla

I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.

Adam Carolla

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

Adam Carolla

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

Adam Carolla

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

Adam Carolla

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

Adam Carolla

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

Adam Carolla

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

N. T. Wright

Christmas is God lighting a candle; and you don't light a candle in a room that's already full of sunlight. You light a candle in a room that's so murky that the candle, when lit, reveals just how bad things really are.

Toby Lenk

Growth has been tremendous. We expect to do about 20 times what we did last Christmas this Christmas.

Dave Barry

A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.