Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Kathryn Prescott

I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life.

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

Damon Runyon

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Craig Ferguson

Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.

Craig Ferguson

The views expressed by Me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact Me.

Craig Ferguson

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

Ayn Rand

A viler evil than to murder a man, is to sell him suicide as an act of virtue.

Al Green

Suicide is not an answer, it's destruction.

Charles Bukowski

When I was young I was depressed all the time. But suicide no longer seemed a possibility in my life. At my age there was very little left to kill. It was good to be old, no matter what they said. It was reasonable that a man had to be at least 50 years old before he could write with anything like clarity.

e. e. cummings

in a middle of a room stands a suicide sniffing a Paper rose smiling to a self "somewhere it is Spring and sometimes people are in real:imagine somewhere real flowers,but I can't imagine real flowers for if I could,they would somehow not Be real" (so he smiles smiling)"but I will not everywhere be real to you in a moment" The is blond with small hands "& everything is easier than I had guessed everything would be;even remembering the way who looked at whom first,anyhow dancing

Anne Sexton

Yes I try to kill myself in small amounts, an innocuous occupation. Actually I'm hung up on it.

Andrew Solomon

I look at the rates of suicide among gay teens. They are so, so high for suicide attempts and for completed suicides.

Alice Cooper

Why don't you pass the gun around and give everyone a shot.

Alice Cooper

I can't get my wrists to bleed, just don't know why suicide appeals to me.

Albert Camus

For the existentials, negation is their God. To be precise, that god is maintained only through the negation of human reason. But, like suicides, gods change with men.

Daniel Woodrell

Texas humor and Southern humor are pretty similar.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

And ah for a man to arise in me, That the man I am may cease to be!

Chuck Norris

Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.

Thomas Reed

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Simon Pegg

I mean, yeah, I'm sure that Python and the other things have paved the way for a greater understanding of the British sense of humor, but I don't think it's all that different than the American sense of humor.

Suzanne Collins

No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.

Steven Tyler

Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel may be you.

Seth Godin

Your generosity is more important than your perfection.

Thelonious Monk

The only cats worth anything are the cats that take chances.