Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

Damon Runyon

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Elbert Hubbard

A pessimist? That's a person who has been intimately acquainted with an optimist.

Dizzy Dean

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

Bobby Jones

Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course...the space between your ears.

Ashley Williams

I'm not a person who can spontaneously say funny things.

Libby Doggett

Pre-K is gradually being integrated into the K-12 education system nationwide. In a state that has so many great universities like Purdue, Indiana and Notre Dame, it's a shame (Indiana) won't do more to ensure its own children are better prepared to enter those schools with high quality pre-K.

Jack Horn

This is a serious problem nationally and statewide as well as in the county, ... Solano County has been particularly proactive, signing people up on various programs, particularly children with the SKIP program, but it's still a serious problem, no question about it.

Barbara Mertz

Since I am not as stupid as my children believe I am, I had immediately realized this might be a ruse, but I was not at all averse to a confrontation. In fact, I had been hoping for some such thing.

Ogden Nash

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

C. S. Lewis

But courage, child: we are all between the paws of the true Aslan.

C. S. Lewis

Those of us who are blamed when old for reading childish books were blamed when children for reading books too old for us.

Celine Dion

Since I was a little child, my nose - I think it's too big.

Alan Keyes

When we, through our educational culture, through the media, through the entertainment culture, give our children the impression that human beings cannot control their passions, we are telling them, in effect, that human beings cannot be trusted with freedom.

Alain de Botton

When I see someone like Richard Dawkins, I see my father. I grew up with that. I'm basically the child of Richard Dawkins.

Daniel Woodrell

Texas humor and Southern humor are pretty similar.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

And ah for a man to arise in me, That the man I am may cease to be!

Chuck Norris

Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.

Thomas Reed

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Suzanne Collins

No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.

George Mikes

If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity.

Jeff Gordon

I'm not a robot; I have a personality and I have emotions. I have a humorous side to me and an angry side to me.

J. K. Rowling

Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business. Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git. Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor. Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.

Stephen J. Cannell

I love 'Dexter.' The dark sense of humor is wonderful.