Quotes about fun
funny book humor
Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!" Chris Rock
funny humor two
Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
funny cancer kids
That's all we had when I was a kid: Robitussin. No matter what you got, Robitussin better handle it. "Daddy, I got asthma." "Robitussin." "I got cancer." "Robitussin." "I broke my leg." Daddy poured Robitussin on it. "Yeah, boy, let that 'tussin get in there. Yeah, boy, let that 'tussin get on down to the bone. The 'tussin ought to straighten out the bone."
funny hollywood
Hollywood's just not funny.
funny humor ghetto
I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
funny humor liquor-stores
Not a Harvard-type education, ... Just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
funny running humor
I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
funny humor thinking
Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.
funny jobs fall
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
funny school humor
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
funny gun men
White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing.
fun writing trying
The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
funny mother lines
My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
funny humor gun
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
funny ideas laughing
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
funny humor want
I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
funny humor vcr
Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.
funny humor president
I don't need a president with a bucket list!
funny epic mexican
Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
funny grandma kids
If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail!
funny sports humor
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
funny dance humor
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
funny humor pimp
Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
funny stars halloween
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
funny fall humor
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!!" That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
funny humor shopping
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
funny rip humor
They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I'm a rip-off of Eddie Murphy.
funny humor america
So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America ... but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's doing that to keep the Feds off her back.
funny humor rocks
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
funny humor people
Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
funny humor white
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
funny uncles humor
If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.
funny women looks
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.