Famous Quotes & Sayings

H. L. Mencken

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

H. L. Mencken

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

H. L. Mencken

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

H. L. Mencken

After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.

H. L. Mencken

Lawyer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.

H. L. Mencken

Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.

H. L. Mencken

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

H. L. Mencken

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.

H. L. Mencken

Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.

H. L. Mencken

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.

Geoffrey Zakarian

My agent called me and said, they watched you do Chopped Champions and they thought you'd be good for this competition. What do you think? And I said, well, what do you think? He said he thought it would be great and I said let's do it. When you decide to do this, you don't really think that you're going to win it. I thought it would be fun, good to test my mettle; games are fun like that. Why not? I'll try it.

Jerry Coleman

Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.

Jerry Coleman

Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning.

Jerry Coleman

Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.

Jerry Coleman

They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.

Jerry Coleman

The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston.

Jerry Coleman

Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.

Jerry Coleman

You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.

Jerry Coleman

That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.

Jerry Coleman

I like to use big words so people will think I know what I'm talking about.

Hunter S. Thompson

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

Alfred Hitchcock

Paramount functions practically as a studio setup for him.

Denis Leary

Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time.

What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize.

Samuel Butler

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

Milan Hejduk

We are going to the Olympics, so it's going to be fun even though we don't get the break. It's a lifetime experience, so I guess you can't go wrong with the Olympics.

Erma Bombeck

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

Reba McEntire

Being sexy is kind of funny to me. You know, I can get kind of spunky or I can get tough, you know, that kind of tough, sexy look. But sexy? No, I don't think so.

Candace Parker

We were having fun just playing, moving the ball, running in transition, and that's when we were at our best.

A. Whitney Brown

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Adrian Grenier

Tabloids can be fun. I see stuff sometimes and have a good laugh.

Adam Baldwin

I'm like a fungus; you can't get rid of me.

Trips were always a blast; he was just a funny guy.