Famous Quotes & Sayings

Roseanne Barr

The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?'

Will Rogers

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.

Mike Birbiglia

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

Mark Twain

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks- if we agree with him.

Maria Bamford

I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.

Ashleigh Brilliant

I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?

April Gornik

Of course we humans have a funny relationship with the beings with whom we share our planet. We eat them, we care for them, we admire them, we use them.

Mother Teresa

If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifices.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity, but in being uninteresting.

Paul Mazursky

Even when I begin with a situation that's basically funny or sad, I like to keep poking around in it. I like to get into the middle of a relationship, to explore the subtle places.

Edward de Bono

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.

Charles M. Schulz

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.

Bob Phillips

He took his misfortune like a man - he blamed it on his wife.

Carl Jung

The woman is increasingly aware that love alone can give her full stature, just as the man begins to discern that spirit alone can endow his life with its highest meaning. Fundamentally, therefore, both seek a psychic relation to the other, because love needs the spirit, and the spirit love, for their fulfillment.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Old age has deformities enough of its own. It should never add to them the deformity of vice.

Aristotle

The appropriate age for marrige is around eighteen and thirty-seven for man

Dave Attell

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.

Confucius

Seek Not Every Quality In One Individual.

Ambrose Bierce

In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.

Spike Milligan

It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t

Laura Kightlinger

I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

Nora Ephron

Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from.

Mason Cooley

Nothing is more cheerful than talking about our friends' shortcomings.

Oscar Wilde

The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life.

Carrie Fisher

My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

Ellen DeGeneres

You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, 'Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it's so repetitious.'

Malcolm Forbes

Presence is more than just being there.