Famous Quotes & Sayings

Muhammad Ali

I'll tell you how I'd like to be remembered: As a black man who won the heavyweight title - Who has humorous and who never looked down on those who looked up to him - A man who stood for freedom, justice and equality - And I wouldn't even mind if folks forgot how pretty I was.

Miguel de Unamuno

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about.

Ned Rorem

Humor is the ability to see three sides to one coin.

Priscilla Presley

As a person, he was wonderful. He really was a great person. He was full of life. He had a great sense of humor. Very talented, of course, but very caring to his parents. There was a very endearing quality about Elvis.

Oscar Wilde

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.

Oscar Wilde

I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.

Patrick Rothfuss

We need time to relax and enjoy ourselves too, no matter how dark the story. The occasional humorous moment helps with that. That's one of the things that Joss Whedon excels at in his storytelling.

Arthur Hailey

The president of General Motors was in a foul humor.

Mike Judge

They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

Mike Harding

When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies, the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a nose bleed, which usually cures them of that.

Mike Harding

... The Anarchists' [national] anthem is an international anthem that consists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune of Camptown Races. Nobody has to stand up for it, nobody has to listen to it, and, even better, nobody has to play it.

Mike Harding

Economics, n.: Economics is the study of the value and meaning of J. K. Galbraith ...

Mike Harding

Invite them all in. Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled.

Mike Harding

Gold, n.: A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution. It is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich men who immediately bury it back in the earth in great prisons, although gold hasn't done anything to them.

Mike Harding

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Mike Harding

The Gerat Bald Swamp Hedgehog of Billericay displays, in courtship, his single prickle and does impressions of Holiday Inn desk clerks. Since this means him standing motionless for enormous periods of time he is often eaten in full display by The Great Bald Swamp Hedgehog Eater.

Mike Harding

The people of Halifax also invented the harmonium, a device for castrating pigs during Sunday service.

Mike Harding

The Ruffed Pandanga of Borneo and Rotherham spreads out his feathers in his courtship dance and imitates Winston Churchill and Tommy Cooper on one leg. The padanga is dying out because the female padanga doesn't take it too seriously.

Terry Bradshaw

I want to help people, give hope to all. Humor is the foundation of our lives.

Ted Lange

I've always tried to explore the humorous aspects of life.

Lisa Guerrero

We're starting to push the envelope in terms of the expectations, and you can also have your own style, personality and sense of humor, because now we're allowed to.

Lawrence Kasdan

I want everything I do to have humor in it, because it seems to me that all of life has that.

Lady Gaga

Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? And I'm not about to waste my time trying to change it.

Julie Kagawa

Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?

Joyce Brothers

When you come right down to it, the secret to having it all is loving it all.

Jules Renard

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.

Josh Billings

It's not so hard to get rich as it is to know when you have gotten rich.

Kami Garcia

You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.

Judy Garland

If you have to be in a soap opera try not to get the worst role.

Paul Krassner

People don't like to be lectured to, but if you can make them laugh, their defenses come down, and for the time being they've accepted whatever truth is embedded in your humor.

Paul Krassner

The more repression there is, the more need there is for irreverence toward those who are responsible for that repression. But too often sarcasm passes for irony, name-calling passes for insight, bleeped-out four-letter words pass for wit, and lowest-common-denominator jokes pass for analysis. Satire should have a point of view. It doesn't have to get a belly laugh. It does have to present criticism.

Ovid

Nothing is stronger than habit.

Emily Post

The joy of joys is the person of light but unmalicious humor.