Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Ambrose Bierce quotes about
DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.
TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.
HIBERNATE, v. i. To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it has to try twice before it can cast a shadow.
A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.
PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.
IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.
EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.
NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.