Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
You can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable privilege to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And you cannot even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap.
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.