Andrew Dice Clay
Andrew Dice Clay
Andrew Dice Clay is an American comedian and actor. He played the lead role in the 1990 film The Adventures of Ford Fairlane...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 September 1957
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
hate school kids
I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, 'I hate the rich.' From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just don't raise their kids. I used to see the lineup of cars in front of the schools and it was all the nannies.
journey life-journey
I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.
wise growing-up thinking
I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with rock 'n' roll. And when I saw a lot of comics, no matter how good they might have been material-wise, I would get a little bored with them after 10 minutes, only because I feel comedians don't really know performance.
boys blue littles
Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!
kissing men thinking
Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?
care hey jerk
When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.
smell dishes cologne
If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.
baby sex life-is-like
Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.
kids shoes uterus
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!
girl sex mind
If you hide what you really are, then there's going to be problems in marriage down the road. I don't mind if a girl is aggressive. It's just sex.
girl real want
I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.
mother real father
My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would say, "I don't care how dirty you are up there, just be funny." Because they knew me offstage. They knew I was a good guy. They knew my whole plan of becoming the most exciting comedian, visually, ever. A real rock-and-roll stand-up comic.
girl sex sleep
I think that a lot of men, especially once they're married, feel like their girl is just who she is, so don't treat her too special. They shut her off, and having sex before you go to bed is like a sleeping pill. I always say, you're supposed to remember the reason you even asked that girl out.
people doe odd-things
Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That's the odd thing about my stand-up. I am very confident. I always was.