Andy Rooney
Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooneywas an American radio and television writer who was best known for his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney," a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011. His final regular appearance on 60 Minutes aired on October 2, 2011. He died one month later, on November 4, 2011, at age 92...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth14 January 1919
CityAlbany, NY
CountryUnited States of America
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
Those to whom his word was revealed were always alone in some remote place, like Moses. There wasn't anyone else around when Mohammed got the word either. Mormon Joseph Smith and Christian Scientist, Mary Baker Eddy, had exclusive audiences with God. We have to trust them as reporters--and you know how reporters are. They'll do anything for a story.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
I can't choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
The best thing about a vacation is planning it.
It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.
We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We're living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.