Andy Rooney
Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooneywas an American radio and television writer who was best known for his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney," a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011. His final regular appearance on 60 Minutes aired on October 2, 2011. He died one month later, on November 4, 2011, at age 92...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth14 January 1919
CityAlbany, NY
CountryUnited States of America
People like to say, ""You're only as old as you feel,"" but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research, it is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a large number of people wandering around with huge breasts an
Don't pin much hope on the mail, and when the phone rings don't expect anyone wonderful to be calling
Do you think there's any possibility you could get CBS management to split your salary up amongst the rest of us?
Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
I liked not being the oldest person on the show.
If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.
They're gonna wish they'd never invited me. I have a basement full of stuff I'm gonna send. They'll be out of room before I'm done.
Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
Where some people may see loving grandparents, I see a pair of feckless boobs who can't drive, take way too long to shop, and don't even have the most basic grasps on the new technology. As a staunch supporter of the principles of Darwinism, I think that advances in modern medicine are starting to overrule the survival of the fittest, and it's to our [youngers'] detriment.
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.