Artie Lange
Artie Lange
Arthur Steven "Artie" Lange, Jr.is an American comedian, actor, author and radio show host, best known for his tenures on The Howard Stern Show and the sketch comedy series Mad TV. Born and raised in New Jersey, Lange first worked as a longshoreman and cab driver to help support his family following the death of his quadriplegic father. After making his stand-up debut in 1987, he began a full-time comedy career in 1992, performing stand-up and improv shows throughout the...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth11 October 1967
CityLivingston, NJ
CountryUnited States of America
I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.
I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.
At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of years ago, A-Rod went to the hospital and promised a dying kid he'd ground out to second for him.
intends to be at work on Monday morning. Probably more will be resolved then.
I'm like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people you're with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, 'God I wish I had the person on stage to be with all the time.'
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.
If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
I used to be a longshoreman. I didn't go to college. I have a voice that when I say something, it can sound way meaner than you think it is.
I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.