Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall
William Ray "Bill" Engvall, Jr. is an American comedian and actor best known for his work as a stand-up comic, his signature "Here's Your Sign" bit and as a member of the Blue Collar Comedy group...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth27 July 1957
CityGalveston, TX
CountryUnited States of America
daughter growing-up men
God, she's growing up, and I don't know when it happened, man. I used to buy her Minnie Mouse panties and little Winnie the Pooh underwear. I was helping my wife fold cloths. I picked up a pair of skimpy underwear. I looked at my wife and said: When you gonna wear these for me? She goes, I can't. They're your daughter's. Aaahh! No, no, no! There was nothing to them! The how-to-wash tag was the biggest piece of cloth on there.
pain believe life-sucks
I believe pain is nature's way of saying, 'You're still alive, and life sucks.'
good-day made said
God was havin' himself a good day when he made boobs. He must've stepped back from Eve and said, Yes ma'am! Those'll work.
iphone people invention
I just realized that with the invention of the iPhone and others you now get to see the top of people's heads.
rubber condom
A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums.
sharks water safe
So the hotel tells us that it is not safe to go in the water because its shark mating time. I know how I'd feel if someone interrupted me.
hands rose heaven
And don't put a rose in my hand. Put a slim-jim in it. Send me to heaven with a slim-jim!
clouds flying looks
Can someone explain to me why pilots feel they need to wake everyone to tell us that we are flying by a cloud that looks like a monkey.
doctors wife car
I told my wife I'm afraid to go back to the doctor because I'm afraid they're going to look at you and say: 'ma'am, just sell him for parts. It's like that old car that as soon as you fix one thing, something else goes out on it.
california dad fan stuck took
I'm a California Angels fan because that's the first game my dad took me to see, and they stuck with me.
biggest
I'm from Texas. You would think my biggest draw would be in that state. But my biggest draw is Pennsylvania.
collar watch
If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody.
bill family maybe networks
My goal is for 'The Bill Engvall Show' to be a show the networks look at and say, 'Ooh, maybe we should get back to the family sitcom.'
people
People all over are finding themselves in jobs they never thought they'd be in.