Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Joy Handleris an American comedian, actress, writer, television host, and producer. She hosted a late-night talk show called Chelsea Lately on the E! network from 2007 to 2014, and released a documentary series, Chelsea Does, on Netflix in January 2016. In May 2016 she began her new talk show Chelsea on Netflix. In 2012, Time placed her on the list of its 100 Most Influential People...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 February 1975
CityLivingston, NJ
CountryUnited States of America
I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
I’ll always be doing stand-up as long as people are still interested in seeing me.
I was tortured, and probably half of it was deserved, but I was bullied—so much so that there were days when I was like, 'I can't go to school today.' I was too scared.
I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.
It's a pleasure to play my sister because everything I've accused her of my whole life, I can now re-enact before her eyes.
I’m a ridiculous person. If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you’re stupid.
The important thing is to be drunk.
A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.
My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what is going on with celebrities. So I have to know everything.
Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.
I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
Next to fat babies, midgets are my favorite things to hold. I love them so much, and I want to help them to do adult things like drive cars, Jet-Ski, and lip-synch. I’m in awe of their little limbs, their large craniums, and their medicine-ball asses. I love the little baby steps they take while shifting their weight from side to side, and the fact that when you knock one over accidentally, he flails like a turtle on its back that can’t get up right away.
This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.