Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
god light stupidity
Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished?
god appreciate stupidity
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
god stupidity size
And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
god lines paper
Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
balance ponies sitting
When your Super Bowl guests arrive, they should find a mound of potato chips large enough to conceal a pony sitting in front of the television. For nutritional balance, you should also put out a bowl of carrot sticks. If you have no carrot sticks, you can use pinecones, or used electrical fuses, because nobody will eat them anyway. This is no time for nutritional balance: This is the Super Bowl, for God's sake.
thinking skulls trying
In Los Angeles, the jury in the Reginald Denny Beating trial, after much thinking, concludes, that Person A is not necessarily trying to kill Person B just because Person A happens to very deliberately bash Person B's skull in with a brick. The verdict is applauded by scientists at the Tobacco Institute.
new-york cities missing
Note that both of these papers [the New York Post and the New York Daily News] are big sellers in a city whose residents like to go around saying they'd never live anyplace else on account of they'd miss the opera.
song heart dark
Roy Blount, who is the funniest person I know, journeys deep into the dark heart of humor and brings back a wonderfully insightful, superbly crafted song of the soul that had me laughing and crying too
mean people use
People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'
light three paper
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
dad naps funny-fathers-day
Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.
sunshine two people
There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them.
funny science eggs
There's an old saying among scientific guys: "You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs, ideally by dropping a cement truck on them from a crane."
collect hits kinds sunlight systems
There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: ""passive"" systems collect the sunlight that hits your home, and ""active"" systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbors' homes, too.