Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
god rocks stupidity
Too many rocks in the mountains.
god stupidity gold
Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.
god jobs laughing
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
god people stupidity
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
god writing stupidity
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
god stupidity way
A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.
god vacation stupidity
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?
god years stupidity
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
cyberspace internet free-speech
There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace.
body towels pounds
I've gained a few pounds around the middle. The only lower body garments I own that still fit me comfortably are towels.
immature insane criticism
Common criticism of the Internet is that it is dominated by the crude, the uninformed, the immature, the smug, the untalented, the repetitious, the pathetic, the hostile, the deluded, the sefl-righteous, and the shrill. This criticism overlooks the fact that the Internet also offers - for the savvy individual who knows where to look - the tasteless and borderline insane.
numbers helicopters badness
The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
people age there-comes-a-time
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
past technology two
Now, once again, we find ourselves facing rising gas prices, and the question is: This time, are we going to learn from the past? Are we finally going to get serious about energy conservation? Of course not! We have the brains of mealworms! So we need to get more oil somehow. As far as I can figure, there's only one practical way to do this. That's right: We need to clone more dinosaurs. We have the technology, as was shown in two blockbuster scientific movies, Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park Returns with Exactly the Same Plot. Once we have the dinosaurs, all we need is an asteroid.