David Cross
David Cross
David Cross is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer, known primarily for his stand-up performances, the HBO sketch comedy series Mr. Show, and his role as Tobias Fünke in the sitcom Arrested Development. Cross created, wrote, executive produced, and starred in The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, developed and had a prominent role in Freak Show, appeared on Modern Family, portrayed Ian Hawke in the Alvin and the Chipmunks film franchise, and voiced Crane in the Kung Fu...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Actor
Date of Birth4 April 1964
CityAtlanta, GA
CountryUnited States of America
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.
'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
James Lipton: The most pompous arrogant failure in history.
It's just an easy catchall to describe a style because there are a lot of alternative comics who are completely different from each other.
I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
If you want to reinstate the 14.4 billion dollars that Bush cut out of the veterans program then vote democrat.
I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.
What President of the Airline is doing is, he's urging everyone to give up their frequent flyer miles for sick kids... But as I was reading this, there were two empty seats next to me. Why can't sick kids sit there? If they're so concerned with sick kids, shouldn't they have like a pen of sick kids next to the gate?
What happened to our friendship? I really think it's our obligation as friends to be brutally honest and be frank with them and say, 'Look, I'm sorry, but your baby is fking boring.'
I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are...