Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller
Dennis Milleris an American stand-up comedian, talk show host, political commentator, sports commentator, actor, television personality, and radio personality...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth3 November 1953
CityPittsburgh, PA
CountryUnited States of America
hair cost balloons
Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
children party parent
Any time your parent says they party with you, that is its own form of child abuse.
comedian credibility
I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian.
white house citizens
The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.
dream politics journal
Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.
thinking abortion pounds
Jerry Falwell says that abortion and homosexuality are sins. Oh yeah? Well, so is gluttony, Jerry. So maybe you should think about dropping 50 pounds.
reading wind tunnels
The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
xenophobia tolerance benefits
Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
nice chains food-chain
It's nice to be included in the broadcast food chain.
guilt reason playboy
Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
smile kids mass-destruction
Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
horny shows factors
I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?
years data differences
There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.
home nuts rooms
It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.