Doug Stanhope
Doug Stanhope
Douglas Stanhope is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and author known for his cynical and controversial comedy style and libertarian political views...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 March 1967
CityWorcester, MA
CountryUnited States of America
hate drinking keys
I hate when your friends quit drinking on you, don't you? It's sad. I've lost more friends to AA than Liberace did to the virus. It's sad to see 'em go. You see a thirty day chip on your buddy's key ring, it's like seeing a toe tag on his cold, stiff corpse.
animal life-is-like life-is
Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.
pigs dainty
There's times to be dainty and times to be a pig.
color mushrooms bags
Don't eat a mushroom stem and see colors, eat the whole bag and see GOD
looks scientology credible
AA makes Scientology look credible,
might tools actors
[Stand-up] might be ballsy, but I'd rather not be an actor. Actors are tools.
government drug said
If I say f*** the government, some will clap because they agree and some will clap just because you said f***. I've had countless audience members offer me free drugs but I also got free hernia surgery.
dying mouths tadpoles
"This is Lakshmi Singh." It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.
running topics towns
I love playing in the UK because there are some topics that you just can't talk about in the States without getting run out of town. So let me just say this: Louis C. K.'s new show sucks.
littles arizona towns
When I used to drive on the road from L. A., one time in Arizona we went off-road to see what weird little towns are around. Loved Bisbee.