Evan Esar
Evan Esar
Evan Esarwas an American humorist who wrote "Esar's Comic Dictionary" in 1943, "Humorous English" in 1961, and "20,000 Quips and Quotes" in 1968. He is known for quotes like "Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions." He also wrote The Legend of Joe Miller, which was privately printed for members of the Roxburghe Club of San Francisco by the Grabhorn Press in 1957...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionWriter
CountryUnited States of America
teaching dumb numb
A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.
teaching mind remember
Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure.
keeping-your-mouth-shut skills special
A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.
divorce keys matrimony
Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
divorce play people
Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.
teenager approval being-true
To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
done bragging braggarts
With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
flower perfume charm
Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
successful want chance
If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
amputation way necks
The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
charming ready another-woman
A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.
hair tears next
Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
divorce men causes
The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.
teaching subjects lecturer
The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.