Greg Fitzsimmons
Greg Fitzsimmons
Gregory Sebastian "Greg" Fitzsimmonsis an American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer and radio host...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth5 April 1966
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
sex two people
If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get married.
want life-is feels
I feel life is to be lived. You want to spend your time doing things and being with friends and all that.
successful opposites doe
The compulsion to do the opposite of what you are told does not lend itself to many occupations outside the entertainment industry. Within the industry, it is unlikely that you will be very successful without it.
tree cynical feels
Taking down the Christmas tree makes it feel official: time to get back to joyless and cynical.
looks debt shapes
Don't be like me. Look at me: monogamous, in shape, no debt, sober... I'm dead inside.
fun mean debt
Debt means you had more fun than you were supposed to.
interesting nerd most-interesting
The most interesting nerds are the ones who take offense to being called nerds.
hipster interesting most-interesting
The most interesting hipsters are ones who stop being hipsters.
heart sneak-in drunk
When you're not 21, it's great to drink because you're not allowed to. You're a rebel: you gotta get a fake I.D., you gotta find a place to drink it, you gotta sneak in drunk. And if you get away with all that, you're laying in bed, your heart's pounding, you got vomit on your chin. You're like, 'I'm a rebel!' And you are. You're cool.
writing creative challenges
I enjoy writing the same way I enjoy doing standup. Part of the challenge is being creative and making it work no matter what the constraints.
kids two driving
Driving around with a receding hairline and two kids in a Prius feels a bit boring for me.
trying olympics hard
I have to stop watching the Olympics. It just reminds me that I forgot to try really hard at something.
kids home dinner
My kids teased me at dinner that I'm not cool. I told them if I was cool I wouldn't be sitting at home with my kids. Pass the gravy.
hanging-out filled knows
The best drunks are the ones who only hang out with other drunks in places we all know are filled with drunks.