Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx
Julius Henry Marx, known professionally as Groucho Marx, was an American comedian and film and television star. He was known as a master of quick wit and is widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era. His rapid-fire, often impromptu delivery of innuendo-laden patter earned him many admirers and imitators...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth2 October 1890
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.
Firefly: Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we oughta have? Chicolini: Well, I tell you what I think. I think we should have a standing army. Firefly: Why should we have a standing army? Chicolini: Because then we save money on chairs.
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.