Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewartis an American comedian, writer, producer, director, actor, media critic, and former television host. From 1999 to 2015, he was the host of The Daily Show, a satirical news program that airs on Comedy Central...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEntertainer
Date of Birth28 November 1962
CountryUnited States of America
hands-up burgers crime
Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.
dragons glasses people
Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.
vegetables anchors fake
My life is a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.
obamacare challenges trying
We're going to do a challenge. I'm going to try and download every movie ever made and you are going to try to sign up for Obamacare - and we'll see which happens first.
scientist accomplish
Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?
republican rapture plans
The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.
transition scene persons
When you're accustomed to doing stand-up, so often you're the only person onstage and it's all your thing. It's very gladiatorial. Obviously, when you're in a scene with somebody, you're supposed to listen and react - and that's a bit of a transition.
sandwiches want fame
I want a sandwich named after me.
funny-valentines-day mean news
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
odds two worry
The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every f*cking day.
cnn phones puppets
You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?
potato-chips potatoes congress
9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.
just-being becoming oppression
The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it’s becoming an oppressor,
approval-rating president agents
President Bush delivered his first State of the Union address, riding high on an 82-percent approval rating, and with Attorney General John Ashcroft dispatching agents to interview the other 18 percent.