Robert Orben
Robert Orben
Robert Orbenis best known as an American professional comedy writer, though he also worked as a speechwriter for Gerald R. Ford and as a magician. He has written multiple books on comedy, mostly collections of gags and "one-liners" originally written for his newsletter, Orben's Current Comedy, and he has also written books for magicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEntertainer
Date of Birth4 March 1927
CountryUnited States of America
travel home past
Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
funny-life people obsolescence
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
years wildfires
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
desks bigs
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
clothes use boxers
I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
luxury democracy firsts
Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
valentines-day girl heart
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
humor fighting two
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.
health goes-on firsts
Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
successful fortune-cookie common
Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
expectations pandas disappointing
Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
grief mean years
All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it; but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
eggs may way
It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
laughing competition sense-of-humor
Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.