Robert Orben
Robert Orben
Robert Orbenis best known as an American professional comedy writer, though he also worked as a speechwriter for Gerald R. Ford and as a magician. He has written multiple books on comedy, mostly collections of gags and "one-liners" originally written for his newsletter, Orben's Current Comedy, and he has also written books for magicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEntertainer
Date of Birth4 March 1927
CountryUnited States of America
pain medicine disease
Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth.
family kids names
I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
years answers lasts
An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.
valentine divorce cards
Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.
father kids smell
For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
humility grace crow
The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.
too-much needs drink
Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
rain vacation dollars
Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
dreamer realist knows
Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
giving laughing persons
When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
basketball sports baseball
Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
kids modern-life today
They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
couple hero night
I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."
oil government energy
I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.