Robert Orben
Robert Orben
Robert Orbenis best known as an American professional comedy writer, though he also worked as a speechwriter for Gerald R. Ford and as a magician. He has written multiple books on comedy, mostly collections of gags and "one-liners" originally written for his newsletter, Orben's Current Comedy, and he has also written books for magicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEntertainer
Date of Birth4 March 1927
CountryUnited States of America
humility grace crow
The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.
giving laughing persons
When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
basketball sports baseball
Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
kids modern-life today
They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
oil government energy
I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.
lasts economy quarters
Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
yesterday wonder share
I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
detectives tvs criminals
These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.
blessing computer science-and-religion
I don't see why religion and science can't cooperate. What's wrong with using a computer to count our blessings?
exercise divine humans
To exercise is human; not to is divine.
two world aspirin
THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
travel home past
Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
people silence suffering
A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
education morning teaching
I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education--show and tell. Show and Tell is a device created by grammar schools to communicate family secrets to 32 other families before 9:15 am in the morning.