Robert Orben
Robert Orben
Robert Orbenis best known as an American professional comedy writer, though he also worked as a speechwriter for Gerald R. Ford and as a magician. He has written multiple books on comedy, mostly collections of gags and "one-liners" originally written for his newsletter, Orben's Current Comedy, and he has also written books for magicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEntertainer
Date of Birth4 March 1927
CountryUnited States of America
humility grace crow
The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.
oil government energy
I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.
lasts economy quarters
Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
yesterday wonder share
I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
blessing computer science-and-religion
I don't see why religion and science can't cooperate. What's wrong with using a computer to count our blessings?
travel home past
Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
funny-life people obsolescence
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
desks bigs
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
clothes use boxers
I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
valentines-day girl heart
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
humor fighting two
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.
health goes-on firsts
Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
expectations pandas disappointing
Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
grief mean years
All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it; but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.