Robert Orben
Robert Orben
Robert Orbenis best known as an American professional comedy writer, though he also worked as a speechwriter for Gerald R. Ford and as a magician. He has written multiple books on comedy, mostly collections of gags and "one-liners" originally written for his newsletter, Orben's Current Comedy, and he has also written books for magicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEntertainer
Date of Birth4 March 1927
CountryUnited States of America
fun air earth-day
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
work cute-life vacation
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
laughing water willing
If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
happiness contagious carrier
Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
football hope baseball
Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
religion what-if earth
What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
feet way sticks
Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
new-year fighting years
I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
jobs important days-off
It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
taxation might wonder
Did you ever get to wondering if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?
family dirty listening
We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
cities contact ifs
New Yorkers are so impersonal, if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!
listening politics painting
Did you ever see that painting the Mona Lisa. It always reminds me of a reporter listening to a politician.
cities jet-planes noise
Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches.