Roseanne Barr
Roseanne Barr
Roseanne Cherrie Barris an American actress, comedian, writer, television producer, director, and 2012 presidential nominee of the California-based Peace and Freedom Party. Barr began her career in stand-up comedy at clubs before gaining fame for her role in the classic sitcom Roseanne. The show was a hit and lasted nine seasons, from 1988 to 1997. She won both an Emmy and a Golden Globe Award for Best Actress for her work on the show. Barr had crafted a "fierce working-class...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionActress
Date of Birth3 November 1952
CountryUnited States of America
Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.
Eat as much as you'd like. My philosophy has always been that all women desire to be as fat as myself but just have a great fear of doing so. Because they think they won't get any men, but you will. You'll get more men, and better men.
Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
Comedy is the only hope for humanity.
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.
Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need righteous and strong men who will help us to use our most cherished gifts: the ability to multitask and problem solve.
Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor.
I know how to do anything, I'm a mom.