Scott Adams
Scott Adams
Scott Raymond Adamsis an American cartoonist, creator of the Dilbert comic strip and the author of several nonfiction works of satire, commentary, business, and general speculation...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionCartoonist
Date of Birth8 June 1957
CityWindham, NY
CountryUnited States of America
thinking office mind
Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
wise country block
You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.
years ideas political
I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
country stupid thinking
Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).
smart clueless intelligent
Highly intelligent and well-informed people disagree on every political issue. Therefore, intelligence and knowledge are useless for making decisions, because if any of that stuff helped, then all the smart people would have the same opinions. So use your "gut instinct" to make voting choices. That is exactly like being clueless, but with the added advantage that you'll feel as if your random vote preserved democracy.
writing data doubt
Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
knowledge light boss
Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
winning hair political
If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
jobs food yogurt
Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.
believe political insanity
Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
life keys keyboards
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
lines cynicism fine
There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
drunk boss stupidity
If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
thinking labs rats
Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.