Scott Adams
Scott Adams
Scott Raymond Adamsis an American cartoonist, creator of the Dilbert comic strip and the author of several nonfiction works of satire, commentary, business, and general speculation...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionCartoonist
Date of Birth8 June 1957
CityWindham, NY
CountryUnited States of America
science simple tonight
Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.
book library analogies
E-books are impervious to analogy.
strong sex lying
In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.
nature eye science
Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.
lying golf science
Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.
mushrooms please ifs
If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
blogging coworker turns
Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn.
morning night focus
Writers tend to work early in the morning, or late at night, when brains are naturally able to focus deeply on one thought. In the middle of the day, distractions are unavoidable. I wonder if anything worthwhile has ever been written in the afternoon.
reality dating cheaper
When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
funny jobs expectations
Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.
smart humor matter
No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.
speak-english goats speak
We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English.
believe people religion
The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours.
funny business damage
The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.