Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
writing athletic intellectual
Writing and producing the show is an intellectual process. Performing the show is far more athletic and intuitive, because you don't get to do it twice. It helps if you've done whatever the old saw is, 10,000 hours of it. Because I've done 10,000 hours of comedy, I have this database in my mind of what works and what doesn't work.
jobs stupid fighting
Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?
people stupidity may
Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.
book heart reality
I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
funny winning london-olympics
Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.
heart doctors facts
There is no food closer to my heart than cheese. In fact, according to my doctor, it has nearly filled my aorta.
children mind television
It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
funny business errors
Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or minus the facts.
funny work littles
I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.
country mean perception
Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a new thing, but it's certainly a current thing, in that it doesn't seem to matter what facts are. It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.
sports hate memorable
So, if I'm no cheerleader of sports, why write a chapter about it? Sports do have some positive impact on society. They solve problems, such as how to get inner-city kids to spend $175 on shoes. They serve as a backdrop for some of our most memorable commercials. And they remain the one and only relevant application of math. Not only that, but we have sports to thank for most of the last century's advances in manliness. The system starts in school, where gym class separates the men from the boys. Then those men are taught to be winners, or at least, losers that hate themselves.
hate blow actors
I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
inspirational laughter swelling
Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
real world today
Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.