Tim Dorsey
Tim Dorsey
Tim Dorseyis an American novelist, frequently compared to Dave Barry and Carl Hiaasen. Dorsey's books are crime capers in the Florida style pioneered by John D. MacDonald...
socialism ifs
It's only socialism if the money goes down, not up.
knives making-love culture
My problem is with the warped value system our culture has. Why is it that if you knife a woman in a movie it's PG, but if you swear at her it's rated R and if you make love to her it's rated X?
florida people drug
Back at the Rash [a Florida nightclub], a waif in a lime latex body tube went into the rest room to snort the newest designer drug, XGB5, which gave people the uncanny sensation of throwing money away while chewing their own lips off. It was hard to come by and everyone had to have it.
beach florida legs
A prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washed ashore on the beach, which meant it was Florida. Then it got weird.
stupid book cutting
...And another item from the growing file of people who voluntarily wear dunce caps... You'll be talking cordially to someone and make an offhand reference, 'I recently read where--' and they'll cut you off and say, 'Oh, I don't read'... This is a tragedy on so many different levels. First, because they don't read, they don't know enough to keep it to themselves. Next, and this is the most amazing part, they use a demeaning tone like I'm the stupid one for wasting time with books.
father jerk break
Almighty Father, please stop making jerks. Amen...Break!
dream life-is second-best
Hang on to your dreams with everything you got. Because the best life is when your dreams come true. The second-best is when they don't but you never stop chasing them.
july laughing noon
But instead they tell you they'll come to fix your cable between noon and five, and I say, okay, I'll pay my next bill between July and November, but they don't laugh.
ammo building-confidence
Nothing builds confidence like live ammo.
artist want way
There, I'm an artist. Thousands of women on ecstasy now want to have three-ways with me.
animal snacks different
These are different animals now. They're starting to winnow out the weak at the fringe of the herd. We need to hurry or this could affect our snack situation.
political citizens littles
Our political process appears to be a toxic dance of mutually assured destruction that takes all the citizens down with you, and that can't be right. So I've prepared a little experiment.
fighting ambush walks
Always walk away from a fight. Then ambush.
growing-up kids gas-stations
Look forward to the wonderment of growing up, raising a family and driving by the gas station where the popular kids now work.