Will Durst
Will Durst
Will Durstis an American political satirist; he has been called a modern mix of Mort Sahl and Will Rogers...
cutting people president
Budget cuts if you're not rich, tax cuts if you are. Less money for those who don't have any and more to those who do. That's how President Fredo says we're going to get out of the giant deficit hole he's dug. You can't put it any more simply. Rich people richer. Poor people poorer.
way deals best-way
It is my experience that the best way to deal with American politics is 50 milligrams of Zoloft 3 times a day.
san-francisco redundant
In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.
growing-up america people
When people talk about how in America, anybody can grow up to be President, I'm not sure George Bush is exactly what they had in mind.
running thinking circles
President Bush says we've turned the corner in Iraq. What is that, about 16 corners we've turned? I think they call that running in circles.
earth politics problem
The problem is, we have yet to convince the Taliban they are fellow passengers on spaceship Earth.
fun hate car
I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.
women car speeding
Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate from a speeding car.
cells research bills
The reason the Democrats are so intent on passing a stem-cell bill is they're depending on the research to grow themselves a spine.
disaster shock debris
There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.
long laughing bedroom
It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point
bumps politics speed
Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump.
dream ideas america
You can't kill America. We're more than a nation. We're a notion. We're an idea. The American Dream. You never heard of the Afghanistani Dream have you. Except by bearded hermetic recluses with a fetish for uneducated women dressed as giant shuttlecocks.
american-musician follow hearts hope people rather
I think they'd rather us follow our hearts and I hope that's what some people will understand.