Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Kathryn Prescott

I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life.

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

Damon Runyon

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Craig Ferguson

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

Craig Ferguson

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.

Craig Ferguson

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Arthur Miller

He's liked, but he's not well liked.

Brittany Murphy

I do sarcasm really poorly.

Elbert Hubbard

Perfume: any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

Allan Sloan

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.

Ambrose Bierce

DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.

Spiro T. Agnew

In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.

Steven Wright

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Steven Wright

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Ronald Firbank

The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain.

Bashar al-Assad

There is no good war.

Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.

Those who are convinced they have a monopoly on The Truth always feel that they are only saving the world when they slaughter the heretics.

Carl von Clausewitz

In short, absolute, so-called mathematical, factors never find a firm basis in military calculations. From the very start, there is an interplay of possibilities, probabilities, good luck and bad, that weaves its way throughout the length and breadth of the tapestry. In the whole range of human activities, war most closely resembles a game of cards.

Carl von Clausewitz

The bloody solution of the crisis, the effort for the destruction of the enemy's forces, is the first-born son of war.

Carl von Clausewitz

In war more than anywhere else, things do not turn out as we expect.

Carl von Clausewitz

No other human activity is so continuously or universally bound up with chance. And through the element of chance, guesswork and luck come to play a great part in war.

Carl von Clausewitz

We shall not enter into any of the abstruse definitions of war used by publicists. We shall keep to the element of the thing itself, to a duel. War is nothing but a duel on an extensive scale.

Carl von Clausewitz

Modern wars are seldom fought without hatred between nations; this serves more or less as a substitute for hatred between individuals.

Carl von Clausewitz

If we do not learn to regard a war, and the separate campaigns of which it is composed, as a chain of linked engagements each leading to the next, but instead succumb to the idea that the capture of certain geographical points or the seizure of undefended provinces are of value in themselves, we are liable to regard them as windfall profits.